Welcome to Running to Myself. I’m Trisha Stanton. Life and mindset coach, running coach and host of Running to Myself.
16 years ago I ran my first marathon. The process of training for that first race changed my life. This podcast is my opportunity to share some of the lessons I have learned about running and life through the many ups and downs of life during my almost 2 decades of running and learning more about who I am. It is my hope that through my stories maybe you will see a bit of yourself as well and find a nugget of truth and inspiration to take with you. Let’s get started.
Welcome to Episode 14 Your Words Matter
A few years ago I found myself signed up for a local 50k and drastically undertrained. I had run this same race two years prior and it was such a fun experience the first time, that I really wanted to do it again, fully trained or not.
At this point, my relationship with running had changed drastically. I was no longer chasing faster finishing times. Boston was behind me and so was race training. The only race I had participated in since running Boston in 2018 was this same 50k in 2019. I was head over heels in love with trail running and this race-I use the term race very loosely, as it was more of an experience for me than a race- this race was held on my favorite trail of all. The trail where I had spent the last few years praying and healing and beginning to find a closer relationship to God and a better understanding of myself and where I fit in this life that didn’t look much like I thought it would. This trail was my healing spot and my happy place.
Before I share my personal experience, I want to leave a disclaimer here. There are people, very fast people with excellent balance and I guess no fear of falling down steep rocks, who run distances of 50k and beyond to race them. They are fast and they are skilled. I am not one of those people.
So far I have completed 3 50k distances and not once did I have a race mindset.
Each time I was there to see what I could do and fully enjoy the experience. And each time I have succeeded in having an amazing day collecting wonderful memories.
I approach completing a 50k as a day of managing the conditions my body will face as they come with my only goal to manage my body well enough that I am able to complete the course. To me, a large scale road marathon and a small 50k trail race are two different sports.
Marathons on certified courses have uniform standards. Such as, you will be running 26.2 miles. A trail 50k will be 50k ish. Not less, but possibly more depending on the trail. Last year when I completed the race my watch showed 33 miles covered. That is a long day of managing your body and your mind!
A road marathon will have aid stations with water, electrolyte drinks, maybe some gels and bananas available every few miles with volunteers handing you the cups as you continue to run or walk as quickly as you can while drinking. For anyone racing with a finish time goal, the idea is to get what you need at the aid station while continuing as close to pace as possible.
Aid stations at a trail ultra are different. A trail ultra will have aid stations with such a full spread of food you may think you've just arrived at a family potluck. The volunteers are encouraged to be a little more hands on and because of the small size of the race they start to get to know you if the course is set up with multiple loops like the one I was on.
One of the first things that needs to be managed is running in the dark. Headlamps are required for this course because the race begins before the sun comes up. There are steep hills of rock to climb and descend in the dark. My balance is not the best and the places where one would be most likely to fall are only accessed by foot, so the first hour of the day is usually my slowest. Seeing the sunrise an hour into the day is worth the dark, slow start. After being treated to a gorgeous sunrise, I was able to enjoy a few hours of running before being reminded by the sun and rising temperatures that September in San Antonio is still very much summer. The high that day was 92 degrees. Managing my body temperature during the run is a major factor and one I take seriously because now that we live in such a hot climate, I understand and respect the dangers of heat exhaustion. Having run all summer, I was as acclimated to the heat as possible, and also respectful of it. I won’t bore you with the details of my personal heat management strategy. I’ll just tell you that it involves going quite slow.
Going slow means more time out on the course and that brings its own set of concerns to manage. All of this comes together to create a puzzle and being able to solve the puzzle results in a really fun and memorable day.
Let’s circle back to the beginning of my story where I mentioned that I was drastically undertrained for this race. I knew my lack of race specific training would be one of the factors that I would be managing throughout the day. At the time, I was a client in a coaching program where I was learning about the impact of mindset on your life and how you interact with the world. In fact, this was just a couple of months prior to me deciding to become certified as a coach myself. I had recently learned in theory (I hadn’t tested the theory yet) that we can get better results if we speak kindly to ourselves.
This idea blew my mind a little bit. I had always valued kindness when it came to how I interacted with others, but had never considered it as a factor in how I communicated with myself. On this particular day, I would have plenty of opportunities to test the theory. My legs were tired very early into the race. I felt a little pain in my knee early on as well. This could have very easily led to a negative thought spiral about being under trained and how the rest of the day would go as I pushed through the pain while blaming myself for it.
Instead, I used the opportunity to test out this new theory of speaking kindly to myself. Rather than thoughts of how miserable I was, I directed my thoughts to my legs.
I know you’re tired.
It’s okay.
You can do this.
Just get through this day and then you can rest.
I thought those thoughts with the kindest, most gentle tone I had ever used on myself. I did that all day every single time I was aware of fatigue or pain in my body.
And I found that my coach was right. It made a huge difference. I was able to move through the day in my physical discomfort and make room for every other aspect of how I experienced the race to be positive.
Talking kindly to myself didn’t make the pain go away, but it kept me from making the pain grow into something larger than it needed to be. I didn’t focus on it. I also didn’t ignore it. I acknowledged it but didn’t let it overtake the day by adding to it in the form of berating myself for my lack of training, weakness or any of the other things our brain will offer when we are in a negative thought cycle.
Talking to myself kindly helped me stay in a positive frame of mind which led to having an absolutely amazing day. I had so much fun all day long. It was the best experience. And at the end of the day, I understood the power of the words we say to ourselves.
You probably already know where I’m going with this week’s life coach connection. The idea I would like to leave you with today is this: The words we say to ourselves matter. They matter a lot. The way we speak to ourselves has a much greater impact than we realize. Sometimes we don’t even realize we are speaking to ourselves as we just accept our thoughts to be true.
Maybe we try to motivate ourselves to do better by shaming and blaming and beating ourselves up in our mind. It doesn’t work. You’ve likely heard the phrase you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. This expression means that it is easier to win people over with kindness. This is true for winning ourselves over as well. It is more effective to use kindness on yourself to get the results you want.
As we wrap up this episode, I have a challenge for you. Find one area this week where you would normally find yourself beating yourself up or using negative self talk and this time speak kindly with encouragement instead. It may feel odd at first. Do it anyway. Notice how you begin to feel different. Notice how you feel seen and cared for as you gently encourage yourself. And then notice how it impacts the way you treat others. After practicing kindness with yourself, you may find that you have greater capacity to extend kindness to others. You may find yourself experiencing more compassion and patience. Don't just take it from me. Try it out yourself. You won’t be disappointed. Speak kindly to yourself and feel the shift it creates inside you. Let yourself fill with love, peace and compassion and then notice how the overflow of that kindness touches others as well.
That’s all I have for you today, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this episode of Running to Myself. You can find previous episodes on apple podcasts and spotify or on my website www.trishastanton.com. New episodes are released each Monday. You can subscribe on Apple or Spotify to automatically receive each new episode as it comes out.
If you know someone who you think would enjoy this podcast, please share it with them! I will be back next week to share a little more about my training journey on the road to discovering my truest self.
In the meantime, if you want to know more about my coaching program or have questions about one on one coaching or life coaching in general, please visit my website at www.trishastanton.com or my Facebook Group The Simple Truth Coaching. I would love to hear from you!
Have a great week, speak kindly to yourself and remember, Mindset Matters!
