Welcome to Running to Myself. I’m Trisha Stanton. Life and mindset coach, running coach and host of Running to Myself.
16 years ago I ran my first marathon. The process of training for that first race changed my life. This podcast is my opportunity to share some of the lessons I have learned about running and life through the many ups and downs of life during my almost 2 decades of running and learning more about who I am. It is my hope that through my stories maybe you will see a bit of yourself as well and find a nugget of truth and inspiration to take with you. Let’s get started.
Several months ago I was out on a run and could feel my body beginning to overheat. I had plenty of water with me and the day wasn’t necessarily any different from all the other summer days in San Antonio, but my body was clearly telling me that I was not operating at 100%. I learned very quickly upon moving to Texas, that if I wanted to continue to pursue running, I would have to respect the heat. So far in 2024, San Antonio has recorded 27 days of temperatures at 100 degrees or higher. It is probably safe to think that we won’t be having any more of those in the months of November and December, but we are a solid two weeks into November and are still seeing temperatures in the 90s on some days. The heat is no joke here. But as I learned early on, as long as you are intentional about acclimating your body to the heat, it is pretty amazing how adaptable the human body is. Back to this particular day. I was feeling off. I suspected it was heat related. I might have begun the run under hydrated and was feeling the effects. I honestly don’t know. What stuck out to me is how easy it was to listen to my body and downshift from running to walking with zero mind drama. As I noticed how easy it was to just do what my body told me it needed, I thought back to when this was not the case and a run years ago when I didn’t listen to the clear and loud signals my body was giving me.
Let’s time travel back to the year 2014. This is the year Jacki and I ran the Chicago Marathon together. Despite our years of running and coaching together, this is the only marathon that we have run together. It is also the only marathon that we have trained for together, following the same training plan and running most runs together. We had a blast! Training together meant that in spite of very busy lives, we got to spend more time together than we had since our kids were little. It also meant that we pushed each other pretty hard without saying a word, which now that I think about it, might account for the Chicago Marathon being my fastest finish of all my marathons. This was, hands down, the most fun training cycle I have ever completed. It was so fun.
Well, except for that one time when we almost got run over by a truck traveling way too fast down the back country road we were on.
Oh and this one day when we pushed ourselves to the point of heat exhaustion.
Jacki and I both have our USATF coaching certification, we have coached runners from middle school all the way to adults. We are both first aid trained. We KNEW what we were doing. We NEVER would have taken a chance of this happening to one of our athletes. And yet, neither one of us listened to our bodies that morning right up until we had no choice.
We met up at the gym on that clear, warm summer morning to knock out a 5 or 6 mile run. Nothing major. This was at the beginning of the training cycle. I’m not even sure if we had started doing our long runs yet. Some of the details are fuzzy because everything started out so normal. I know it wasn’t too long of a run, because we stayed in town rather than going out to the country roads between where we both lived. If you listened to Episode 10, What are You Trying to Prove, you might remember that Jacki and I, though ride or die friends for life, were each able to bring out a competitiveness in the other that sometimes took on a life of its own. This might have been the source of some poor judgment on this particular day. I remember midway through the run feeling slightly ‘off’. I wasn’t tired from running, but I started to feel weak, then sleepy tired. I had drunk all my water early on which was very unusual. I had never run out of water before. But I ignored the signs my body was giving me and I didn’t say anything about the way I was feeling. We kept going. Finally when with about a mile and a half to go, I began to feel dizzy and nauseous. I knew I had to stop and walk. The crazy thing is, she was feeling the same symptoms and also until this point didn’t say anything either. We were both experiencing the symptoms of heat exhaustion. I don’t remember which one of us said it first, but once we had both voiced what was happening in our bodies, we knew it was time to take action. We immediately agreed to walk the rest of the way back to the gym. No more running. And we found shade to cool down. We were finally listening and responding with what our bodies needed. We made it back slowly and safely, but everytime I think of that day, I shudder a little bit. What in the world were we thinking? Why didn’t we listen? How close were we to crossing the line from heat exhaustion to heat stroke. We knew better. Yet we denied what was going on until we could no longer deny it. I remember feeling so much relief once we did the right thing and got our bodies cooled down. How often does that happen in our personal lives as well? How often do we push it to the limit, not listening to the very clear signals and signs that are right in front of us?
Maybe it’s with our health. We know we aren’t taking care of our body, we don’t feel great most days, but we have been going along like this for so long that we accept it as our normal, so until we end up sick in bed or worse, hospitalized, we don’t make the changes necessary to take care of our health.
Maybe it is our mental and emotional health. We become so aligned with the negative thoughts that consume us each day that we fully believe this negative story we have about ourselves and our life. We feel behind. Everyone else seems to be on track but we are behind. We feel disappointed. Why don’t things work out for us, but they seem to work out for everyone else? Why does life feel so hard? We are out of touch with our true selves which leads to just going through the motions each day at best or retreating from our life and those we love in more advanced stages.
Maybe it is our relationships where we continue in a cycle that creates discord and disconnection until it reaches the breaking point. Relationship problems often stem from first being disconnected from our own mental and emotional health. The negative story and patterns that we have for ourselves extend to our relationships.
Why does this happen?
Why don’t we listen?
In my work with women of all ages, I see several common reasons why we don’t listen.
One reason we don’t listen is denial. We see what is right in front of us, yet we deny that it exists. That, combined with a bit of pride is what kept me from listening to my body on the run with Jacki that particular day. Even though all the physical symptoms were there, I was in denial. I was not willing to accept that this unpleasant thing that also seemed like a weakness (that’s where the pride comes in) could be true.
The second reason we don’t listen is our pride. Surely we are better than this, stronger than this. This couldn’t be happening to us. When our pride is in control, we don’t want to be seen as weak or wrong. We don’t want to lose the battle that is being waged in our body, our mind, our relationship. Our pride tells us that if we admit there is a problem, we lose the battle. We hope that if we just ignore the problem, it will fade away. Of course that never works. The way to win the battle is to face the problem.
Another reason we don’t listen to the signs and signals right in front of us is fear. Fear of what it will mean to admit that there is a problem. Fear of loss. Fear of being alone. Fear that if we face the problem we will find that it is much bigger than what we can manage. Fear not only keeps us heading down the wrong path, but it grows and multiplies along the way. As the fear grows, the problem seems to grow as well.
And finally, here is a reason people don’t listen to the signs and signals that are right in front of them that might surprise you, but I see it quite often. This one is a cousin to fear. Lack of confidence. I see so many smart people who are very accomplished in many areas of their life, but they lack the confidence to listen and face what is right in front of them. They rely too much on other people to make decisions for them and don’t trust their own judgment enough.
Learning to listen to what is right there in front of you is a skill that anyone can develop. Like any skill, it takes practice to build your confidence to do so. One of the most transformational concepts I teach my coaching clients is the power of making decisions from a neutral place. Neutral is not apathetic or uncaring. It is not unattentive or weak. Being in a neutral state allows you to evaluate facts clearly without the fog of emotion that can cloud judgment. When my clients begin to develop their ability to evaluate facts in a neutral state of mind, they become more confident decision makers. They make better decisions. As confidence increases, so does the ability to face realities that seemed too hard or overwhelming before. There is no downside to having the ability to approach a situation from a neutral state of mind. It is not a state of weakness. It is power. It will transform you.
Going back to the day of ignoring the signals my body was giving and instead running myself right into heat exhaustion. If I had looked at the facts on the day of the run in question, I would have seen clearly that I was experiencing symptoms that were consistent with heat exhaustion. From a neutral state of mind, I would have changed my actions immediately based on that information. Because I was in denial and also in somewhat of a prideful state of mind, I continued until I was experiencing dizziness and nausea that caused me to have to stop running. There was nothing strong about pushing myself to that point. It was stupid. It takes strength and confidence to operate from a neutral state because in doing so, we cannot allow pride a seat at the table. When operating in a neutral state of mind, we gain freedom from the thoughts that have been holding us back. We are able to make decisions based on facts rather than from our emotions.
This idea of approaching and evaluating circumstances in a neutral state of mind may be new to you. Maybe you aren’t even sure where to start. Sometimes it helps to notice where you don’t have a neutral state. Think of a situation that you already have an opinion about, but that opinion is not getting you the results you want. Your opinion is simply the story you believe based on your thoughts. What would it look like if you took your story about the situation out of the equation and simply looked at the facts? How would that change your decision? How would a new decision or a new way forward give you a different outcome? If there is an area of your life where you truly desire a new outcome, I encourage you to try this simple exercise. See what it can do for you. Notice the current story you have. Set your story aside and look ONLY at the facts. What are the facts telling you? Based on the FACTS, what is your next best step?
My challenge for you this week is to notice the places where you might not be truly listening/reckoning with facts. Notice where denial, pride, fear or lack of confidence are clouding your judgment. Afterall, you can’t change what you don’t see. Along the way, keep these questions in mind…
Do I already have a story about this?
Am I willing to set aside my story to look at the facts?
Am I in a neutral mindset so that I am open to seeing the facts?
Listen, as we go full steam ahead into what is for many the busiest time of the year, the ability to manage your mind is the difference between enjoying the extra time with family and friends or being depleted by it. I am ready to help you! I have opened up my schedule to take on more end of year clients. No day or time is off limits! I am making myself fully available to get you through the end of 2024 with a well managed mind. When you prioritize your mental and emotional health, everything else improves as well. You can contact me through my website or message me on Facebook. Don’t put it off! The time to act is now!
That’s all I have for you today, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this episode of Running to Myself. You can find previous episodes on apple podcasts and spotify or on my website www.trishastanton.com. New episodes are released each Monday. You can subscribe on Apple or Spotify to automatically receive each new episode as it comes out.
If you know someone who you think would enjoy this podcast, please share it with them! I will be back next week to share a little more about my training journey on the road to discovering my truest self.
In the meantime, if you want to know more about my coaching program or have questions about one-on-one coaching or life coaching in general, please visit my website at www.trishastanton.com or my Facebook Group The Simple Truth Coaching. I would love to hear from you!
Have a great week and remember, Mindset Matters!
