Welcome to Running to Myself. I’m Trisha Stanton. Life and mindset coach, running coach and host of Running to Myself.
16 years ago I ran my first marathon. The process of training for that first race changed my life. This podcast is my opportunity to share some of the lessons I have learned through the many ups and downs of life during my almost 2 decades of running and learning more about who I am. It is my hope that through my stories maybe you will see a bit of yourself as well and find a nugget of truth and inspiration to take with you. Let’s get started.
When I first began running, it was all about meeting certain goals. Always looking to answer the question, Could I do it? I learned a lot in the process.
I learned that I COULD achieve my goals if I followed a solid plan.
I learned that I was capable of much more than I previously believed as long as I was willing to put in the work.
I learned that sometimes putting in the work takes more time and effort than I expected or planned for.
Several years in, something shifted in me and my runs began to give me something else. I was experiencing a significant amount of pain in my personal life. Around the same time, I had discovered the healing that I felt when I got off the roads and began running on the trails surrounded by nature. Rather than dodging cars and bicycles, I was navigating rocky terrain and steep hills. Physically it was painful and hard. And I was so much slower on this new terrain. And being in Texas, it is often hot. Very hot. Mentally, it gave me the greatest gift. I had taken an interest in longer distances. I wanted to see if my body could handle going beyond the marathon. And I was definitely influenced by the hours upon hours of podcast interviews of ultrarunners that I listened to while running. I began to understand that pain was a necessary piece of the equation and somewhere along the way I stopped trying to prevent the pain and started to just lean into it. In the ultra running community this is often referred to as the pain cave. The point you reach where the only way to get to the other side is to travel through the pain cave. I knew through hours of listening to ultra runner interviews that the most successful adventurers did not fear the pain cave. They did not try to avoid it. A few had the belief that the sooner they made it to the pain cave, the sooner victory would come. Their view opened up a whole new way of thinking for me.
Up until this point in my life, I had been afraid of pain. Deeply afraid. I did anything I could to prevent experiencing it, which often meant holding myself back and staying in the little box of what was comfortable and safe. Listening to a different perspective about pain that I had never considered before while also Learning to work through the physical pain of running longer distances on more difficult terrain showed me that I did not need to fear or avoid pain. It showed me that I could endure pain. After about a year of learning and practicing a new belief about physical pain, I began to understand that this applied to nonphysical pain as well. I could transfer this understanding to my beliefs about emotional pain. The funny and unavoidable thing with life is, we WILL experience pain. Some of it is of our own making through bad decisions and some of it is completely outside of our control. For much of my life, I feared and avoided emotional pain much more than I did physical pain. Again, putting myself into a little box of safety and comfort and remaining there at all costs. It’s a very limiting way to live.
And then, as it will at times, life began crashing down around me. There was the pain, staring me right in the face and there was nothing I could do to avoid it. My little box of safety and comfort smashed to smithereens.
In the midst of the turmoil I was experiencing, I remember one day in particular. It was a hot August afternoon. South Texas hot.. Sun blazing with temperatures reaching high 90s low 100s. I had just arrived at the park where I had a three hour run planned for that day. As I got out of the car, eager to begin, looking forward to the hours ahead that would clear my mind of the weight I was carrying, I received a phone call with a report of more bad news. My heart was heavy. I was emotionally exhausted. And I was deeply sad about this situation that was not mine to control but still impacted my life in a very tangible way. Immediately after the bad news call, my mom called. As we talked I told her I was getting ready to head out on my run and she said “why do you do it? Why put yourself through the misery of running for hours in the heat of the day when you know it is going to be miserable? Why not wait until summer is over and it is cooler, more comfortable and easier” And what I told her still rings true for me today, the pain and misery is exactly WHY I do it. Putting myself through the physical pain of running these distances reminds me that I am stronger than I think. It shows me that pain is temporary. It is tangible evidence that I can do it and I will be okay. I transferred every last bit of the strength that I gained from the pain of running into my actual real life to help me process the pain I was experiencing. And it worked. I didn’t need to avoid the pain and the truth is, I couldn’t anyway. It was right there with me, a constant companion. But I came to understand that even with the pain I could continue to live a full life. I didn’t need to ignore all the other wonderful parts of my life to just focus on the painful part. And it was the very pain I experienced while running that taught me this because, while I was running and experiencing the discomfort of the heat, the pain of being tired with sore muscles, I simultaneously experienced all the good parts of running that I love so much. The opportunity to be out in nature. The beauty and sounds of nature all around me, the freedom of the run, the fresh air. All of the things that fill my cup were happening at the same time as the painful part of running. I came to see that the same was true in my daily life. I could experience this pain while ALSO experiencing and leaning into all the good parts of my life. And the truth has always been that there IS so much good. I have so much that I am grateful for. Could this be true for you as well? Stick with me for a minute, I’m not suggesting that you need to take up trail running to gain the understanding that you don’t need to fear the painful situations that life will dole out. I’m not suggesting that you need to take up running so that you can experience the pain cave for yourself. Feel free to borrow what I learned through the physical pain of those long hot runs, the belief that you CAN hold both the painful AND the good. The belief that you are stronger than you think. The belief that even in the pain, you can choose a full and beautiful life. Maybe trying to run away from the pain is a waste of good energy that could be put to better use by moving through it.
That’s all I have for you today, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this episode of Running to Myself. You can find previous episodes on apple podcasts and spotify or on my website www.trishastanton.com. New episodes are released each Monday. You can subscribe on Apple or Spotify to automatically receive each new episode as it comes out.
If you know someone who you think would enjoy this podcast, please share it with them! I will be back next week to share a little more about my journey on the road to discovering my truest self.
In the meantime, if you want to know more about my coaching program or have questions about one-on-one coaching or life coaching in general, please visit my website at www.trishastanton.com or my Facebook Group The Simple Truth Coaching. I would love to hear from you!
Have a great week and remember, Mindset Matters!
